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EDGES MAGAZINE Issue 16 |
December 1998 |
| Reconcile | Reconcile
is one of our new projects. We offer support to young people who are
struggling in the community with drug addiction. As an organisation,
we believe forgiveness is paramount in everything we do and we try
to bring people together in a spirit of hope. We have self-contained
flats where people can stay while they are going through their
detox. We give the socially excluded drug user an opportunity to
enter into rehab. For further details contact our office on 01254 59240 and ask to speak to someone regarding your detox. |
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MY PARENTS WHEN I WAS 6
My name is Morris, since the age of six, when I lost my mother, I've had to look after myself. My father was a drunkard, alcoholic and for this reason I was taken away from my maternal home by Social Services and placed in a Dr. Bernados Home until I reached the age of eighteen. Here in this home, not only did I look after myself, I had to look after other children as well, ranging in age from babies to six year olds, then to eleven year olds, and so on. I've learned respect, honesty, cleanliness, and trustworthiness, something I've needed in my later life. At the age of eighteen I got myself a job with a local building firm as an apprentice carpenter, serving a five-year apprenticeship, and it meant I had to leave the Dr. Bernados Home because I was old enough to look after myself.
With this job I got myself a flat. Also, I met a girl called Carole. After I had been courting her for about sixteen months, and the relationship got stronger, she decided to move in with me, something I wanted her to do because it had felt right. One day there was a knock on the door, it was my father. He had found out where I was living, and he had called, not to ask how I was after all these years, but to see if I would let him have twenty quid for his drinking habits. I told him in so uncertain terms that I wouldn't and I didn't ever want to see him again. So I closed the door in his face. In 1978, so I've been told, he died (from alcoholic poisoning) and I don't even know where he's buried and don't want to.
In 1980, I got married and we moved to Portsmouth on the South Coast. I got myself a job as a window installer, installing UPVC windows in customers' shops, homes and offices. I enjoyed this job very much as I was dealing with lots of people, travelling the countryside fitting windows. During this time Carole, my wife, got herself a job working in a bank. Then, in 1993 whilst I was at work a tragic accident happened which affected my life.
My wife was killed instantly in a car accident whilst travelling to work, one August morning. The police said at the inquest that she died without any pain (I still have my doubts to this day). It was the seat belt that had prevented her being thrown out of the car so she took the full force of the impact. It turned out to be the worst moment of my entire life. From that moment I turned to drink (thinking it was a comforter) but it wasn't ... it nearly destroyed me. I became suicidal and depressed, lost my home through debt, and at the time I also lost, which is important to me, my dignity and self-respect.
It has taken, I think, a lot of courage and guts to deal with this on my own (well that's not totally true) for months I was counselled off the drink and spent weeks in a dry-house (something I shall be grateful for the rest of my life). I tried to get my life back together, sometimes without success finding myself back out on the streets, living rough, moving from place to place - being unsettled wasn't my scene. Then something inside of me told me to return to my roots here in Cambridge. I returned on Friday 22nd October 1996, after walking for eight days. In these eight days I was hitchhiking, sleeping at night under bridges, under bushes, in fields with just my sleeping bag, a bag of clothes, and the clothes I was wearing.
When I reached Cambridge, I headed for the city centre and in one of the shop doorways I came across a young girl with a dog - she was begging. She asked me if I had any loose change - I politely told her I hadn't and needed some food and drink myself. With this she replied "come with me", she took me to this night shelter in East Road which is called "Jimmy's". I waited for my turn like everyone else until 7 o clock when the doors opened. I was greeted on entering that evening by Joan, who runs the night-shelter with her husband Richard. After completing the necessary filling in of forms I was allocated a bed for the evening, then something to eat/drink, after I had a shower and went to bed. During the night whilst I was asleep, Joan washed and dried my clothes for me. (To both of them I say a big thank you). The next morning, Saturday, I got up and had breakfast, it was during breakfast that I met Bernard Townsend who was a volunteer serving food in the shelter, and he told me about Emmaus. At 9.30am, just before I left, I was told to return that evening, as a bed would be saved for me. During this day I walked around the streets, visiting old haunts, my old schools, colleges, the home I was brought up in (Dr Bernados) no longer exists much to my disappointment. I also visited the main library, just to read and bide away the time. Then it was time for me to return to the night shelter. I arrived back at Jimmy's at 6.50pm. On admission, after I had eaten I was asked if I would like to go to Emmaus, I replied "yes".
Richard told me where Emmaus was and agreed to take me there. We went at 9.15pm and on arriving at Emmaus I was introduced to Paul and his wife Jane. Paul is the administrator of the community. I was told, by both of them, I was welcome to stay as a vacancy was available on Monday. If I liked to stay over the weekend, I could stay in the emergency caravan. This I accepted with great comfort and relief. On Monday morning I was asked by Paul if I would like to work in the carpenters/woodwork shop, as I am a carpenter by trade, I said yes and have been doing woodwork in the community ever since, as well as other jobs around the community which I've been asked to do such as driving on collections/deliveries, shop work. In the workshop I've made items to sell in the shop from recycled timber, like bookcases, welsh-dressers, pine chests, toilet pine sets, and upholstered chairs. I've also been involved with and helped on the expansion of the new shop/warehouse and constructed/made bookcases, built pine counters with display cases, constructed from recycled timber, a framework with a trellis and widow boxes for vines to grow in. Now the woodwork shop has been moved to the warehouse and fitted with proper electrical machinery and dust/sawdust extraction units. We can now turn out a much better high-class quality woodwork and because of this change Emmaus have had to employ a workshop supervisor, Jeff, who teaches companions all aspects of woodwork, French polishing and, most importantly, how to use the machines in the workshop properly and correctly, not forgetting health and safety at work principles. We are also going through a building programme to increase the community to 25 which include new companions rooms, games rooms, TV rooms, a library, quiet room, new dining area and kitchens, also a new house for the administrator and his family (such excitement for all concerned in this latest expansion of the community). All of this should be ready for occupation (fingers crossed) by the end of the year.
I am enjoying my stay here, and fully respect the administrator Paul and his wife Jane and what they both do for this community and me. I also have the utmost respect for Emmaus. Since I've been here, which is nearly two years, I've learned what it means and stands for and what it is all about. Thank you all for helping me get my life back together, whilst living here, and for treating me like a human being and not just a doormat.
On 18th October 1998, I decided to move to Emmaus, Brighton. The reason for this was I needed a change and here it gave me that change. The place has plenty of scope with potential prospects and my skills as a carpenter are needed in the woodwork shop, the huge building itself and not forgetting the grounds. On arriving I was greeted by several companions within the community, shown around my new surroundings and made most welcome. I started work in the woodwork shop, breaking down wardrobes, sideboards and any item of furniture deemed necessary to be recycled to save on costs. This wood and plywood will then be used to renovate or make recycled furniture such as blanket-boxes, wooden racking, and bookcases, which will then be sold in the shop at no extra cost. I hope I shall enjoy my stay here as I did in Cambridge because I know Dominic (the co-ordinator) and his wife Helen are both committed to Emmaus, and what it means, and this community in making it work.
