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 Howard is in the T.H.O.M.A.S. Rehab Unit I first went to prison when I was about 22. I was remanded for one night. It was just like on T.V., all the wings there, I thought ‘I am never going to know anyone here’ I was frightened. I was withdrawing from heroin and I was put into a cell, no T.V., no tobacco, nothing. I couldn’t get a smoker’s pack because I was only in for the night. I thought then that I would never, never come into this place again. I was released the next day. |
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| Within the next three
months I was back in jail doing a short sentence. I used to say that I was
never going back, that I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life in
jail; but as I got older I started taking more drugs and committing more crime
to fund my habit. I would break into people’s garages, shoplift, anything
that I could get to make money from that’s what I did. It led to about 5
or 6 jail sentences, the last one which I have just come from, I did two years.
It was classed as burglary from a dwelling; I hadn’t taken anything I just
got caught in a garage, but the garage had a door to the house so I got 2 years
for that. Throughout all the times in jail I used to say that once I got out, that would be it; I wouldn’t take any more drugs. I made loads and loads of plans but as soon as I got through the gates, all my plans went to pot. I’d pick up drugs straight away and my plans went out of the window. I became an addict through being arrogant. I smoked cannabis and I thought I could handle it, I didn’t see it as an addiction. It doesn’t seem to have a hold over you. I moved on to ecstasy, amphetamines things like that. I remember taking acid one night, I didn’t really want to but everyone was so I went along and I was having a bad trip. I went to a mate’s house and he was smoking heroin. I tried it and thought ‘this is alright’ it brought me down from the bad trip; I liked the feeling and I thought I could use that. But I was naïve; I thought I could get away with using. I’ve used every other drug and been alright so why not this one? I was working all week and using at weekends, then weekends and Monday, then week-ends and Tuesday and before I knew it I had a habit. From there things went downhill. I went on to methadone but I had a problem with that. I was taking 400mls a day, drinking a lot of alcohol and a lot of prescription drugs. I didn’t bother with heroine in the end, it was more prescription drugs. My addiction is that whatever I take I have no control over it. If I smoke weed I will smoke it every day. If I drink alcohol I will become an alcoholic and it will take Me back to the drug of my choice. Since coming into T.H.O.M.A.S. I have discovered that there is a better life for me out there than taking drugs, being lonely and confused. I know there is a better life for me being drug-free. |
