I Drank to Excess But It Wasn't the Real Me
Julie Speaks to Edges
I had actually heard about people going to THOMAS and I got the number from the directory. I was so desperate to give up drinking and I believed I would get support from there.
I drank to excess and I used to call them my Georgie Best days, I would drink until I was vomiting blood. I have even taken the disinfectant gel from the hospital when I have been in for detox. When I was drinking I used to get paranoid and bad-tempered. I used to drink until I was totally unkempt and I would just lie on the settee drinking from a cider bottle. I wouldn’t bother to clean my teeth, have a wash or comb my hair; I used to retch and shake.
I would sit and watch the clock until the shop opened in the morning. Then I could self-medicate with alcohol. I felt so bad once that I got a friend to go to the shop for a bottle of vodka. I just gulped it all down – a litre of vodka and it didn’t relax me at all.
Because my withdrawal symptoms were so bad. I collapsed and somebody stole my money, which I had drawn out of the bank. Several times I have had my bag stolen in town because I was so drunk and out of control that I didn’t know what I was doing. So when I started drinking I found it difficult to stop. I was always the last one out of the pub and always had to have the last drink in the pub. I carried on when I went home and when I got up in the morning.
When I went into detox I was shaking so bad from head to toe from withdrawal that I drank the alcohol gel and I was retching and my blood pressure was high. I realised I needed to change because I was suffering from psychosis and having delusions. I wasn’t best of friends with anybody. I could be quite aggressive, snappy and at times volatile.
It wasn’t the real me that used to be before the drinking. I realised I needed to get my personality back, myself back and my morals back. THOMAS has helped me tremendously. If it hadn’t been for THOMAS I don’t think I would have been able to give up because the support I have had from Kevin and Hanif has been tremendous. They were there every moment that I needed them.
My life has been happy from there on and I have done voluntary work. I am now having a good quality of life which is alcohol free. Basically my lifestyle has improved tremendously.