Haulfryn Funnies
Last updated: 08/12/2001
Subject:
Best
comeback line ever.
In
summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white
male, resident of Dacula,
GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be
charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and
public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The
suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to
stop.
"You
know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one
around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he
stated in a phone interview. Lawrence
went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out
a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in
it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I
guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with
evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to
notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his
audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an
unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I
walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this
pumpkin."
Taylor
went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
"I
just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are
screwing a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I
was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said,
Copyright © 2001 Ian Ganderton. All rights reserved.
Revised: December 08, 2001