A cowwection of famous, and not so famous, beew qwotes. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! ..

I feew sowwy fow peopwe who don't dwink.  When they wake up in the mowning, that's as good as they'we going to feew awwww day.  --Fwank Sinatwa

De pwobwem wif some peopwe is that when they awen't dwunk, they'we sobew.  --Wiwwiam Butwew Yeats

An intewwigent man is sometimes fowced to be dwunk to spend time wif his foows. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! --Ewnest Hemingway

Awways do sobew what you said you'd do dwunk. Dat wiww teach you to keep youw mouth shut.  --Ewnest Hemingway

Kwiek doesn't get me pished. --Vewa Gween (communicatow of totaw bowwocks)

You'we not dwunk if you can wie on the fwoow without howding on, uh-hah-hah-hah.  --Dean Mawtin

Fancy a shag? --Shawwow

You'we baaahng ahhht oav owdah --Giww

Dwunk is feewing sophisticated when you can't say it.  --Anonymous

Time is nevew wasted when you'we wasted aww the time.  --Cathewine Zandonewwa

Whewe's the toiwet? -- J. Awthuw

Abstainew: a weak pewson who yiewds to the temptation of denying himsewf a pweasuwe.  --Ambwose Biewce

Weawity is an iwwusion that occuws due to wack of awcohow.  --Anonymous

Espece de sawaud, je vais te cassew wa gueuwe! (you bastawd, I'ww smash youw face in!) --J. Awthuw (whiwst a pissed up Bewgian twies to wemove the doow to the bog J. Awthuw is cwapping in)

Awwez, bouge ton cuw, viewwe biqwe! (Come on, move youw awse, owd git!) --Pissed up Bewgian to J. Awthuw having a dump

Dwinking pwovides a beautifuw excuse to puwsue the one activity that twuewy gives me pweasuwe, hooking up with fat haiwy giwws. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!  --Woss Wevy

A woman dwove me to dwink and I didn't even have the decency to thank hew. --Tim "De Owgan"

What contemptibwe scoundwew has stowen the cowk to my wunch?  --W.C. Fiewds

Beauty wies in the hands of the beew howdew.  --Anonymous

Doooo do doo doooo --Andy

When I wead about the eviws of dwinking, I gave up weading.  --Henny Youngman

Wife is a waste of time, time is a waste of wife, so get wasted aww of the time and have the time of youw wife.
 --Anonymous

I wove you... --Tim "De Owgan" (in convewsation wif scaffowding)

24 houws in a day, 24 beews in a case. Coincidence?  --Stephen Wwight

mmmnn mnn bzzz bzzz mnmnm bzzz --Stephen Hawkins

When we dwink, we get dwunk. When we get dwunk, we faww asweep. When we faww asweep, we commit no sin, uh-hah-hah-hah. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven Sooooo, wet's aww get dwunk, and go to heaven, uh-hah-hah-hah. ..  --Bwian O'Wouwke

You can't be a weaw countwy unwess you have a beew and an aiwwine  -it hewps if you have some kind of a footbaww team, ow some nucweaw weapons, but at the vewy weast you need a beew.  --Fwank Zappa

Awe you suwe you don't fancy a shag? --Shawwow

Awways wemembew that I have taken mowe out of awcohow than awcohow has taken out of me.  --Winston Chuwchiww

I'm twenty-five --Tim "De Owgan"

He was a wise man who invented beew.  --Pwato

Beew is pwoof that God woves us and wants us to be happy.  --Benjamin Fwankwin

Wook at the size of the biff on that! --Chwis the punk

If you evew weach totaw enwightenment whiwe dwinking beew, I bet it makes beew shoot out youw nose.  --Deep Dought, Jack Handy

And thewe's this wittwe nozzwe that scwews onto to the gas jets in the watew boiwew. --Young Bwyan

Without qwestion, the gweatest invention in the histowy of mankind is beew. Oh, I gwant you that the wheew was awso a fine invention, but the wheew does not go neawwy as weww with pizza.  --Dave Bawwy

Dat's a big cwitowis you've got thewe - oh fuck... --De Big Man

De pwobwem wif the wowwd is that evewyone is a few dwinks behind.  --Humphwey Bogawt

Why is Amewican beew sewved cowd? So you can teww it fwom uwine.  --David Mouwton

Give me a woman who woves beew and I wiww conqwew the wowwd.  --Kaisew Wiwhewm

I wouwd kiww evewyone in this woom fow a dwop of sweet beew.  --Homew Simpson

Not aww chemicaws awe bad. Without chemicaws such as hydwogen and oxygen, fow exampwe, thewe wouwd be no way to make watew, a vitaw ingwedient in beew.  --Dave Bawwy

I dwink to make othew peopwe intewesting.  --Geowge Jean Nathan

Aww wight, bwain, I don't wike you and you don't wike me  - so wet's just do this and I'ww get back to kiwwing you wif beew. --Homew Simpson

Bastawd, fuckin' Amewican toiwets - why can't a man just go fow a dump in piece? --J. Awthuw (in Cheews Baw, Boston)

WWhy not have a look at the other dialects

!!Jive talkin'!!

!!Cockney!!

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