I WAS USING DRUGS AT 8 YEARS OF AGE
Shaun is currently on our Rehabilitation Programme
I started experimenting with drugs at 8, sniffing gas and petrol (tooting petrol) they called it. That’s the only tooting I knew at that age. All will be revealed later.
Anyway, I grew up on a council estate in Blackpool (Queen’s Town); Hope Towers is the NA name for it, Funny! My mum used drugs as well and she suffered from depression. It wasn’t good but I am in no way blaming her. So I started smoking weed and drinking as well and by the age of 12-13 I was stealing cars and doing burglary to get my cannabis.
I went to senior school, a bit dysfunctional shall I say and managed to sustain this life until the age of 15, I don’t know how. I got my first custodial sentence (4 months) at 15 for aggravated burglary and when I was released it wasn’t the same at home because of my step-dad and trust issues, even though I had never stolen from my mum. So I left home and moved in with my friend’s sister. I started injecting amphetamines because I enjoyed the high; this led to a lot of prison sentences over the coming years.
My teenage years were just a blur; in and out of jail; but if I am honest I loved it. Not the jail but the life. Communication with my family was non-existent practically, due to my addiction. At the age of 21 I started having a toot, as I said earlier and the buzz was amazing; but the smell made me sick so I started injecting it. Not long after, I was introduced to crack (snowballs). I thought I had found the love of my life. This madness continued till in 2004 I lost my partner due to drug misuse and giving birth to my baby 3 and half months prematurely. I delivered him and I thought this would be it but it just made me worse.
In 2005 I went to jail again (my second home by this time). I was released the same year and thought things would be different; I don’t know why after so many failed attempts. I was starting to realize that I was unable to do it on my own but couldn’t stop no matter what I did. I had a love-hate relationship with Mr. H and Mrs. C then went to jail once again in 2008. Before I went I saw my son now aged 4 and he came running to me calling out ‘Daddy, Daddy’. I picked him up and he told his friends ‘See I told you I had a daddy’ and this helped me make my decision to try treatment because nothing else ever worked for me. I visited some therapeutic community rehabs because I had heard bad things about the 12 Steps ones. I went back to jail before I had a chance to go in one, but I continued my interest in treatment whilst in prison through CARAT then got a place at THOMAS.
I came here in dread because of the 12 Steps but I thought I’d give it a go as I had had enough. I’ve been here for 6 months now and I have looked at myself and where I was going wrong with my behaviours and attitudes which were assets in addiction. Now after looking at these things I can see a life without the use of drugs and am ready to move into the Second Stage which I never thought would happen. I’ve got my son back in my life and can actually see a life beyond the madness of addiction.
I feel really positive for once, in I don’t know how many years. This is the best decision I have ever made.