The Casual Chelonian

Yes, this is indeed the Casual Chelonian, the only homesite is the world where turtles are welcome to peel off their shells and relax. Think of this particular page as a kindly old uncle, grey of beard and smelly of pipe, who will ease your cares and act as a guide to the wonders hidden away in this damp and mouldy corner of the World Wide Web.

But first a word about our sponsor...

Martin Wooliscroft....

Ancient and wizerned, Martin Wooliscroft was born endless aons ago in a strange and distant kingdom where chaos ruled and nameless magical adversaries fought vicious battles across a blood scarred landscape. Okay, it was actually Stoke-on-Trent, a rather non descript industrial town in the centre of England famous for three things ....... oatcakes, its world beating football team Port Vale, and for being the centre of lavatory production for the entire universe.. Ah, but the "blood scarred landscape bit" is pretty accurate..

A rather uneventful childhood, spent doing all those things children did before we had computers, videos, game consoles and pubic hair, culminated in a huge number of qualifications which proved, of course, to be of absolutely no use whatsoever. Wishing to continue in this vein, Martin has since taken a number of jobs, and has been made redundant from all of them. Any attempts at a career have thus been thwarted by the fickle fingers of fate.

Now living in Nottingham in a swish apartment overlooking some ducks, Martin is employed by a rather substantial financial institution who very much subscribe to the "Roman Slave Boat" philosophy of employment. Chained to his desk all day while a succession of big fat people whip him without mercy or compassion, allowing him to occasionally go home to nurse his bruises and rebuild his shattered ego.

Ah, but despite this he is happy! The wonder of the internet has enabled him to meet a young lady of excquisite beauty and a personality so loveable it defies description. Heather it was who first mooted the concept of the Casual Chelonian, so all in all she is pretty much to blame for all the good stuff on here. All the crap is, without exception, down to me.

So what is on this site anyway?

All human life is here! I don't know who said that but, sadly, it doesn't really apply. But what we do have is various bits of waffle, bizarre theorums, supposed humour, some cracking links, a few pretty pictures and other stuff like that.... but its all kinda under construction so come back here occasionally & I may surprise you! (oh and if anyone else would like to contribute a word or two ....Heather ........ it would be VERY welcome!)

the casual chelonian ...... you are here! The front pages of my site, please try to come here first so my counter will see you and check out my "Whats new" box coming soon! (although all it will probably say in it is ...... "whats new box added")

the casual cm9798 challenge ...... if you've ever played Championship Manager and found yourself sliding down the tables like a greased oyster on roller skates, go here to make a virtue of it!

mr benn & the holy grail ...... if you are American, don't even go here. This is the place where a children's TV show from many years ago takes on mythical proportions .... literally.

for the love of wilf ... a Port Vale page with an endearing "unfinished" appeal.

rants .... like everyone some things make me mad. Make me SOOOOOOOOOO mad. So this is where I let off steam. You may not agree with what I say. You may hate me for it. But then, I don't care. The next rant may be about you!

good stuff ... basically a whole load of stuff that makes me smile.

links .... what, you don't know what this page is? Haven't been online long, have you?!

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