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Series One

Episode One - Good Luck Father Ted

Ted is on TV when interviewed by a magazine programme. But 'FunLand', the most pathetic travelling fair ever invented has come to Craggy Island, and while Ted is distracted with Father Jack, Dougal seizes his moment of glory.

Episode Two - Entertaining Father Stone

Father Stone, perhaps the most boring priest ever comes to stay on Craggy Island. After his worst ever birthday party, Father Ted prays for deliverance from Father Stone, but a lightning strike wasn't what he expected.

Episode Three - The Passion Of St Tibulus

Ted and Dougal are ordered by Bishop Brennan to protest against and X-rated film condemned by the church. However, their protest only draws more attention to the film, which becomes an instant success!

Episode Four - Competition Time

The 'All Priests Look-a-like Competition' has come around again and Henry Sellers, host of the almost popular morning Quiz' is coming to judge it. Ted is determined to beat the priests from Rugged Island. Henry Sellers has a somewhat unfortunate sip of sherry which keeps the somewhat underemployed local policeman, Sergeant Deegan busy.

Episode Five - And God Created Woman

Writer Polly Clarke comes to the island, Ted delivers his shortest mass ever, and is involved in an armed robbery!

Episode Six - Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest

Father Jack consumes a rather large quantity of floor polish, and unfortunately dies... Ted and Dougal have been left a fortune in his will... providing they allay his fear of being buried alive by spending a night with him in the crypt.

Series Two

Episode One - Hell

The priests annual holiday takes shape in the form of a stay at the Kilkelly Caravan Park. After visiting 'St Kevin's Stump' and 'The Magic Road', forever-talking Father Noel Furlong turns up wrecking their holiday plans.

Episode Two - Think Fast, Father Ted

Father Ted organizes are raffle in order to raise funds to repair the roof of the Parochial House. As there hasn't been a raffle on Craggy Island for over thirty years the priests manage to orgranise a car as the star prize. However perfectionist Ted tries to repair a small dent, and in turn trashes the whole car! An indentical car is borrowed from the Dancing Priest, however they rig the raffle so they win in order to return the car. The Dancing Priest dies; Father Jack crashes the car; and the roof doesn't get repaired!

Episode Three - Tentacles of Toom

The minuscule 'Holy Stone of Clanrichert' is after much consideration upgraded to a class II relic. Father Jack is taught to say other phrases apart from 'DRINK', 'FECK' and 'ARSE', as three bishops arrive at the island in order to upgrade the stone. However one dies; one goes to hospital; and one becomes a hippy!

Episode Four - The Old Grey Whistle Theft

Headline news that Mr Bensons whistle has been stolen quickly spreads around the island. Sergeant Deegan orders the Police Area helicopter to Craggy Island in order to help find the culprit, which in the end is Dougal's new friend Father Damo.

Episode Five - A Song for Europe

Inspired by Dougal's Enthusiasm, and driven on by his rivalry Father Dick Byrne, Ted decides to enter the 1996 Eurosong contest. Ted and Dougal 'borrow' a tune from an old Eurosong hopeful and enter it as their own. With inspired lyrics, a jaunty tune and the right attitude, they stand a good chance. But fate has one more card to deal.

Episode Six - The Plague

Rabbit-phobic Bishop Brennan pays a visit to investigate reports of Father Jack sleepwalking naked. Dougal has overrun the house with rabbits, which are multiplying fast and the priests have the task of keeping them away from Bishop Brennan, as well as keeping Jack in bed.

Episode Seven - Rock-a-hula Ted

Father Ted is asked to judge the 'Lovely Girls' competition, Dougal gives away the Parochial house to Niamh Connolly and Jack is mistaken for Bob Geldof

Episode Eight - Cigarettes, Alcohol and Rollerblading

With Easter fast approaching, Dick Byrne suggests that he and Ted call a truce and get on with the important business of giving up something for lent. Ted gives up cigarettes, Dougal rollerblading and Jack drink. When they fall at the first hurdle. they ask assistance from Sister Assumpta, and a ten step road to spirituality is rigorously enforced.

Episode Nine - New Jack City

Jack has 'hairy hand sydrome' and is sent to St. Clabberts Home. However his replacement, Father Stack, is not to Ted's liking, due to the fact he plays loud jungle music constantly and does a whole host of things to annoy him. Eventually, Ted and Dougal go on a mission to retrieve Jack from the home and get rid of Father Stack.

Episode Ten - Flight Into Terror

The priests from Craggy Island end up being crammed into a plane with every other priest that has ever existed after a visit to the Shrine of Kinlettle. Dougal manages to empty the fuel tanks of the plane, and their only two parachutes to go round!

Christmas Episode

Ted, Dougal and a handful of other priests get lost in Ireland biggest lingerie department, while Jack is left a creche. Ted manages to get the priests out and is awarded a Golden Cleric for his services to the church. He then makes a speech conveying verbal abuse at the people who have done him down over the years.

Series Three

Episode One - Are You Right There, Father Ted?

Ted finally escapes to a new posting at Castlelawn Parochial House, Dublin, with civilisislanded company and frequent jaunts to Paris. Unfortunately a slight misunderstanding over some expenses sends Ted back to his old compadres on the island. After a spot of lad's housecleaning results in Ted being mistakenly tarred as a racist, Ted holds a celebration of Chinese culture to clear his name (though 'Kung Fu Fighting' might not have been an inspired choice of soundtrack). Just when it looks like a happy ending might be in store, a mix-up over some soft furnishings and Nazi memorabilia leaves the Chinese community with a sweet'n'sour taste in the mouth.

Episode Two - Are You Right There, Father Ted?

Ted bets the entire Parochial House heating budget on Chris the burping sheep, but can Ted stop him burping for 'King of Sheep 98'?

Episode Three - Speed 3

Mrs Doyle is tranformed into a giggling girl when the new milkman Pat Mustard visits the Parochial House. The transformation does not go undetected by Ted, who can barely disguise his dislike of Pat's overt sexuality. Ted decides to play at private detective to ensure that Pat's job is no more. Who is to replace the errant milkman? Step in Father McGuire to save the day, but an untold danger lies ahead.

Episode Four - The Mainland

A trip to the mainland always leads to trouble, and Ted is deeply nervous at the prospect. What can possibly go wrong? Quite a lot actually! Ted's misgivings are justified as he has to bail Mrs Doyle, Mrs Dineen and Father Jack out of prison, not to mention being beaten up by Victor Meldrew on a tour of 'The Very Dark Caves', and Dougal nearly dying of malnutrition! Eventually a chance encounter with Father Noel Furlong leaves to Ted's pleasing Noel and his youth group trapped under a large pile of rocks!

Episode Five - Escape From Victory

It's the All-Priests Over-75s Five-A-Side Football challenge, and disaster looms when Ted's star player is nobbled by a bottle of Sleepy-Sleepy Nighty Snoozey-Snooze. Fortunately a pair of fake rubber arms and a remote-controlled wheelchair put our lads in with a chance of beating Dick Byrne this year. As long as they can fool the referee...

Episode Six - Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse

Ted looses a bet with Dick Byrne resulting in him having to kick Bishop Brennan up the arse!

Episode Seven - Night of the Nearly Dead

Pop sensation Eoin McLove visits the priests, leading to hundreds of middle-aged ladies surrounding the Parochial House!

Episode Eight - Going To America

Ted is given the chance to become a priest in a parish in California, however how can he break the news to Dougal, Jack and Mrs Doyle

Introduction Father Ted Father Dougal Father Jack Mrs Doyle Other Characters Episode Guide Pictures Books Videos Links