Chad reflects on his addiction
I got addicted to alcohol when I was young; I experimented with it when I was about 10 years old. My family drank, my dad did a lot so I saw a lot of it. It seemed normal. I used to drink my dad’s alcohol when he wasn’t looking. I went out with friends at week-ends and I liked alcohol. It made me feel confident – I had been bullied as a child – and I felt good, powerful.
I realised I had a problem when I was 17 and started getting into trouble and was expelled from school. I was violent. I was tall for my age and my dad was a door man at clubs in Blackpool, so people recognised me and I was able to get into clubs at 15 years old. I was in prison a lot between 16-25 years old through alcohol. My family was always there for me, my mum never turned her back on me; I was never homeless. When I was 20 years old I was injecting heroin for one year and I didn’t like what it was doing to me. I was falling out with friends so I came off heroin and I never used it again for 16 years. No one wanted to know me, so I moved to a new area. I cut down on the heroin but drank alcohol which made it worse.
I went through relationship breakdowns, I had a son in 2002 and tried my best to keep out of trouble. I wasn’t in prison for a long time but the alcohol caused trouble with my girl-friend and I didn’t see my son for a long time after we split.
After a couple of years I had a new girl-friend and two daughters. I was still drinking but could control it a little, I cut down a bit, drinking lager instead of cider. We split up and this gave me free rein to do what I wanted. Mum had had a stroke and my dad had his leg amputated; this and the stress made things worse, I drank more, I lost my daughters. I was completely drunk every day, couldn’t remember anything, had DT’s. I had a serious problem with pain all over my body. I drank to get me through the day but it had little effect on me I have never tried to stop before, this is the first time. I was with a friend once who had real problems, in a horrible flat and this helped me to see my rock bottom.
I was sent to Addaction by court which helped me understand my addiction, because when I was in charge of my daughters and was drunk I was picked up and given 12 months probation and 6 months with Addaction. I was a carer for my family and my mum and dad were going into a supported housing scheme, I was offered a place on a 12 Steps Programme. Someone told me not to do it, it was all about God and religions, but I knew I could not detox on my own,
I broke down and Addaction got me an assessment at THOMAS. I discovered a lot about myself. I was glad and the 12 Steps proved to me that I was not a nice person; it showed me how to treat people, how to be different. I feel good about myself now, I am building a support network of friends. I am doing English and Maths to get into college on a Chef’s course. Six months ago I would have laughed at thinking of doing this. But I am looking to the future – studying to be a Chef, I have my family back, my girlfriend is hoping to get back on track, and get a job, a car.