Brian has come to realise enough is enough and at last has made the step into our rehab.
I have been connected with THOMAS for 15 years, through my habit, homelessness, not eating. I came to the Drop-in and met Fr. Jim. During the last twelve months I have been in Recovery Groups realising why I do the things I do and my partner is in rehab.
I decided to change my life, I had had enough – life was not good, I wanted to work to be a good dad, to make my parents happy. My life wasn’t properly fulfilled.
The worst moments of my addiction included stealing from my family and promising not to do it again; stealing from my grandma, she died when I was in addiction, stealing presents from my children and being in prison four times. I was in prison for 3 and a half years and back in after six months for burglary. Bullying in jail made me realise I had to change.
I got back with my ex-partner thinking about a new life but started with amphetamines. I got a job in a bakery, things didn’t go right from there, became paranoid and took heroin to come down. I ended up losing my flat, and I was in Union House but things started getting worse from there.
I was in for over 3 years and did not go back to jail. I was shop-lifting but was lucky not to go to jail. I started trying to sort out my life in patches, I moved into a small place basically like a hostel but we were left to our own devices. I was seeing my kids but it wasn’t good to see them in a hostel. I was using cocaine when I was in my flat when I decided enough was enough. So I came off heroin, crack and went on methadone.
I moved to Darwen and things seemed better there, I was seeing my children but using Cannabis in large amounts and drinking when they had gone. I couldn’t stop drinking.
I moved from Darwen, got involved with Addulham supported housing and realised I had a chance. I have realised that if I put my mind to it I can do it.
I came into THOMAS two months ago and have since discovered a lot about myself. The drugs are not the problem I am. The 12 Steps will help me to realise how powerless I am, that I have problems with paying bills etc leading a normal family life (Step 1) that I am not on my own and a power greater than me is there (Step 2).
I am now just finished Step 3. I believe God is helping me, I am not on my own, there are people there to help. I know one lad who I helped to pack his stuff into a car and he was shaking asking for a roll up, I saw him recently in Accrington picking up his award for being 4 years clean – it’s amazing. I have seen loads of people who are clean and I realise by doing this there is a way out of it.
For the future I am considering going into Galligreave (2nd Stage) in December because I will need further support and this will give me a better foundation. I have never done that. My partner is in rehab so she will need support with her baby