My name is Marcus, and I'm an addict - so goes the introduction so familiar to those of us in recovery the world over. Today, I'm clean - 90 days so at the time of writing, and extremely grateful to be given a chance by Rachel (Walker) and Father Jim (McCartney) to give my view on life at THOMAS. (Thank you)

T.H.O.M.A.S - the clue's in the name. Those On The Margins Of A Society - but hang on a minute, surely I wasn't on the margins of a society? I mean, I had a job (two years ago - sacked for poor timekeeping) I had a flat (with two weeks remaining on the lease, and an empty bank account) I had a car (sitting in the Police compound, written off) - I even had not one, but two mobile phones for Heaven's sake. How could I be on the margins of a society? But of course I was. I just couldn't see it. It 's called denial.

Via a thirty year addiction to drink and drugs I had indeed put myself firmly on the margins of society. Too scared to face the world, I spent the last six months before entering THOMAS locked in my flat, too frightened to open front door, ignoring the telephone, unable to face anyone. Unable to even open my mail, it was a truly depressing time - suicide seemed a serious option.

What had started as an exciting and fun weekend pursuit in the 1990's, morphed into a serious hedonistic streak in the 2000 's and then transformed into a frightening addiction thereafter, demanding more and more from me until I simply couldn't keep up - the price was too high. From being the solution to my insecurity, hubris and childishness, drugs had become the problem - and a seriously life threatening problem at that.

January, February and March of this year saw me in court for offences of escalating seriousness, culminating in a supply and possession charge. I remember seeing the probation officer first time round and he suggested treatment and I knocked him back straight away. In February I saw the same probation officer and again he asked me about entering treatment and this time I gave it a few moments thought before knocking him back once more. By our third meeting in March, and serious prison time in prospect, I begged him to help me. And thank God he did.

And so it was that after a three week detox, I arrived at THOMAS, with a head full of attitude, a heart devoid of humility and a bellyful of piety - an incendiary mix!

My first impressions were it was rather like the Big Brother house sans sex, cameras and of course alcohol. There was even a resident loudmouth Geordie to provide the commentary. And to make it worse, on my first day  (after I'd arrived ) all I wanted to do was relax - not a chance! The whole house was off to Blackpool for an AA meeting that night - talk about indignant - and how far is Blackpool anyway?! But then it happened - I began to feel the power of THOMAS in full effect. We were all in the minibus about to set off, the tunes came on LOUD. The whole bus picked up on it, and I immediately knew I was going to be alright! And so it has proved.

I've been at THOMAS for three months now and I have to say I love every minute of it. Even the more challenging days (and there are many) are better than virtually all of my days in addiction. But for every hard day, there's a joyous , humorous one - the laughs we have are truly epic. The unintended laughs are of course the best! It feels great just to be alive.

Our days start off with Just for Today - and this for me is where the true power of THOMAS can be felt. The whole house comes together every morning to participate in a reading and to reflect, and you can feel the power in that room. The love and compassion all the residents have for each other is incredible -truly moving at times.

But that's not say its all meditation and good vibes. Each day we have a group meeting managed (or sometimes more appropriately, refereed, by the facilitators) and these groups can be extremely challenging, but it's also where the magic happens. Denial, deceit, arrogance, laziness and all the other negative character traits associated with addiction will be exposed, sometimes ruthlessly so. But by the same token, they can also be extremely illuminating and educational too -and most importantly, real.

My utmost respect goes to all the staff here. It's not always easy to contain twenty rampant egos, always demanding something and sometimes (old habits die hard) trying to blag something - myself included! But it's always done with care, compassion and understanding. As they tell us, THOMAS will love us until we can learn to love ourselves -how apt that is.

And did I mention the banter? This is another part of THOMAS that is so amazing. In the past, many of us have shut ourselves away and concentrated solely on nurturing our addiction - doing what it takes - but here our true selves come rushing back. One quickly develops a thick skin and a sense of humour - believe me, you're going to need it! I must admit to sometimes finding myself screaming for solitude, but not for long. Every time I feel like that I also feel like there's no other place I'd rather be in the whole (wide) world than with my pals here in recovery. All on the same journey , all facing the same ups and downs, all living their lives - clean and sober. There's an old African saying and it goes a little like this: I am, but more importantly, we are - and since we are - therefore, I am.

That in a nutshell is what THOMAS has given back to me. For the first time in many years I feel valued. I feel my identity returning, and for once I'm not defined simply as Marcus the addict, but Marcus the person. And for that I thank THOMAS and all who sail in her - staff, residents and ex-residents.