Chad speaks to Edges

I started using drugs and alcohol when I was about 13 years old. The other lads were doing it and I wanted to fit in with the crowd; it gave me more confidence. But it progressed and I started getting into trouble with the police. But drugs seemed a solution to the problems. I have been in prison 14 times. This began as a bad experience but the more you did it the more you got used to it and it becomes a way of life.

I went to prison when I was 16 and I talked to the others in there who all seemed to be committing crime like stealing cars and so on. I thought it was ok for me to do that. I always thought that this time it would be the last but within a 20 months or so I was back in.

Towards the end it became a way of life and I began to feel I could cope better inside than I could outside of prison.

The worst moment was when I was inside and using I began to realise I was losing my family bit by bit because of my behaviours and I felt isolated. I tried doing 12 Steps and drug courses but nothing seemed to help. Then I found out from a guy who used to work at THOMAS, but was working in prison, about THOMAS. I managed to get funding and I came here.

I have been here now for six months and I leave in two weeks. I have learned that it’s not just the drink and drugs that’s the problem, it is about looking at myself. I now do groups which I find challenging because I have to talk about things that I have never talked about before to anyone. I have developed confidence and trust in people to be able to do that and I am re-discovering myself.

For the future, I hope to go on to the second stage and continue with my recovery; then perhaps college.

I would say to anyone in prison in trouble that recovery works, it is working for me.

The 12 Steps programme is a different way of life. It is about looking at yourself and examining how you act, how you think, looking at your defects, your past behaviours. And is the basis for living a normal productive life.