An unnamed source has named this man as the person responsible for the recent vandalism carried out at the children's playground. We at the Hatfield & Herts were contacted and given certain incriminating pieces of evidence which seem to suggest that Mr Briggs, a petty criminal in the Hatfield area, is the twisted individual who has carried out two attacks on the adventure playground.

We can now reveal that we were contacted with this evidence and have tried to verify its credibility, and we have now handed all evidence over to the police. We at the Hatfield & Herts would like to make it clear that we are not claiming that Mr Briggs is responsible for the vandalism that has injured a young child but the evidence uncovered does seem to point a finger.

However, we would not want Mr Briggs to think that he is being treated unfairly, and so, if he would like to reply to this article, or perhaps schedule an interview, our offices would only be too happy to facilitate him.

John 'Johnny' Briggs

MURDER!

An unnamed man was found dead on Thursday morning. The details are still very unclear, but it seems that he was beaten to death with some kind of blunt instrument. Also found near the scene of the crime was a half frozen rodent of some kind though, as yet, what kind has also not been revealed. At the moment police are dismissing suggestions that the man was beaten to death with the rodent as ill-founded.

CHRISTMAS IS COMING!

But it seems that Christmas dinner may have to change! For some strange reason the number of frozen turkeys available on the market is almost half the number last year. Farmers are blaming it on all sorts of thing, but noone is really able to offer a reasonable explanation as to why this should be so.

WHERE'S THE NEWS?

Readers may have noticed a lack of publication last week. This was due to a mistake with the printers. We can only apologise, and say that it will never happen again. Thank you for your letters of concern and we promise that this kind of thing will never happen again.

AN APOLOGY

We at the Hatfield & Herts would like to apologise to all at Night Watch Security for earlier articles. We were mislead by Mr Richard Stromer, and would like to offer both a full apology and to withdraw any previous comments made of both Night Watch and Mr Frank Wilkes, head of the company. Neither he, nor Night Watch, are guilty of any kind of gross misconduct.