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WEDNESDAY 22ND OCTOBER
I am up and down, my body strength is fine, brilliant in fact, my legs are still very numb with the full sock effect up to just under my knees.BUT for the first time in my life I am having emotional periods.
my feet are just so changeable together with the balance and stability. wake up each morning and my feet are really unstable, great difficulty in walking a few steps to the bathroom. one hour later they are much better and it then alters as the day goes on. it is the worry of the instability and balance that is a real worry. It seems to me that one one more step down and I am in real trouble.> II MUST LOOK AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN, I have really worked so hard and achieved miracles , look back two years, I was just in a terrible condition, body knachered, balance useless, walking with a stick, just able to do about 1oo yards !
my problem is that I am too hard on my self. I have decided to seek professional help to cheeck the diagnosis of CIDP and then work out a way of managing my condition sensibly so as not to over exert myself but at the same time try to continue to improve.
Another challenge, I am up to this and from today onwards am taking alternate days easily, so as to conserve my strength. it may help.......... watch this space and many thanks to all those you are at the present time helping me.
tim clifford
reading these notes again it is amazing that I was so unstable and in problems only just a few days ago. ! this was my FIRST taste of relapsing and remission, probable working too hard and not giving the body time to recover. I want the full recovery and will keep working towards it.
FRIDAY 14TH nOVEMBER I have had a really good week physically
monday 9 holes golf ,it was raining, Tuesday gentle exercises at home my easy day ! Wednesday am 2 hours yoga and pm 1 hour Pilates Thursday 1 1/2 hours yoga today Friday 14th 18 holes golf and I won, brilliant and Friday pm hydrotherapy exercises in the hydro pool
so in good order but why ? my feet below the knees are still numb or semi numb, left foot worse than the right. the sock syndrome is still there but easing away and I still have the pencil feeling under the bottom of the feet. I can only conclude that the regeneration and re building of the nerves in my feet obviously does not mend in a nice straight line but go all over the place.
I an at last relaxing about it all and keep telling myself that I have come just a long way with my recovery, I must be doing something right and POSITIVE RECOVERY must be the best medecine.
so please think long and hard about statins and if you are having problems with your walking etc as I have described way back at the start of this blog, make up your mind to get better and do what I have done and self heal yourself. I am happy to help you.
This week is a milestone, 130 weeks since I took the statin 2 1/2 years and I now believe that I am at a turning point Half way to full recovery, brilliant ! I am taking December off, no treatment for a month, let the body recover, and then in the New year , re group and work out my positive strategy working torwards full recovery, watch this space.
if you have read this far, thank you,..... writing this has been such a help to me and helps get out the frustrations..... I very often feel,....... I also cry a lot, this helps to reduce frustration and anger, all part of the long and complicated process of recovery, it is hard, very hard sometimes and I am hard on my self, but at last I am learning to ease up , and am now sure that this is NOW helping. thanks. to all those who have helped hands on in so many ways. I myself made the decision NOT to go into the wheel chair , to be positive and get better but so many have helped, thank you all
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